My dad is an alcoholic. My mom was very codependent when I was growing up. I couldn't tell you for sure whether that changed when she split from my dad, but she does seem to be less codependent now than she was when I was little. Still though, that was my model. Always be the strong one, even when you're breaking inside and can barely stand. Never show that weakness. Sacrifice everything for someone until there's nothing left of yourself to give, because that's love. Stay in the relationship if you still love them, even if they're destroying you, because true love is all-sacrificing.
Well, fuck all that.
In the next phase of my life, I am looking for someone to take care of me a little, because I've never had that. I've been the caregiver forever. I want someone who is concerned about my well-being and who, without being asked a million times, helps me meet my needs. It would be a plus if he meets my needs all by himself, but I'm not going to ask that just yet. I don't want the pendulum to swing too far the other way. I also want someone with whom I can be utterly vulnerable, and trust that they will be there with me in that vulnerability without exploiting it.
There are other requirements, too, but I'm not going to list them here right now. I'm not looking right now anyway, and those other requirements might change by the time I am looking again.
Anyway, that's all for now. Thanks for listening.