"However, in looking back on my blogs and journals from years past, one thing has become clear. I have been stagnated for a long time, mostly by my current response to factors outside my control. This has kept me from becoming the person I want to be. And I realized who that person was after having a fairly lucid-feeling dream a few months ago. I felt more alive than I had in years. That person was loved, and happy. And that's who I want to be."
Loved, and happy. That's still who I want to be. Gods help me, and may it come to pass soon.