silverhawk79: (Default)
[personal profile] silverhawk79
I've been feeling like everything is unfair lately. It's stupid, because I know for a fact that life is never fair. That's just how things are. But part of me doesn't give a crap about logic or fact. Part of me only wants to wallow in hurt. This is the part of me that wants to hide in the blanket fort and cry all day.

I kicked that part of me today. Hard. I told it to STFU. Hurting is ok, but letting it stop me from being functional is not ok. Loving someone who has hurt me is ok; acting on it, pining for it, failing to move on from it, these are not acceptable. Feeling jealousy over my ex's luck and options is ok; letting it consume my life is not. Feeling is ok, but letting it spiral downward into the oblivion that is waiting for me is not. Even if it would be understandable under the circumstances. Even if another person in my shoes would crumble under the weight of this. Fuck that. It's not me.

There are other hurts as well that I'm not going to go into here. That's not what this is about, really. Those hurts are secondary to the primary hurt that is the end of my life as I've known it for 6 years. Maybe longer than 6 years. Maybe my whole life.

I'm moving on now, from this tragic bullshit. A lot of my posts have had the tag #byefelicia on them. That's exactly what is needed now-- an attitude of "get thee gone from my presence, because you are unworthy of my time and notice."

So now that I've felt the feelings, I'm going to let them go and move on.

Bye Felicia. May it work out for the best for you. I'm going my own way now.

Date: 2017-06-07 01:55 pm (UTC)
mowglikat: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mowglikat
So proud of you.

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silverhawk79

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