silverhawk79: (Default)
[personal profile] silverhawk79
I'm not sure if it's the fact that I spent the entire day around my family or what, but I'm feeling extremely off. I'm agitated. I can't get comfortable. And I seriously want to punch the person in the room with me right now, and I can't.

Today, while I was at the Mother's Day party with my family, I had a discussion with my brother and his fiancee about the condo. That's not going to work out, because their break even is $1000 more a month than I can possibly pay. So now I have to start hunting. I have a lead on three different places in my price range in the town where I want to move, but that probably won't happen until July now, which means I have to enroll my kid in summer camp up here, at least for the first 4 weeks. That also means staying here longer, because I'm not leaving her behind-- not even for a couple weeks.

In the meantime, I don't have any space of my own here, and it's starting to wear on me. There's nowhere I can go in my own home where I'm not dealing with him or having him in my face, except maybe the bathroom. My mom doesn't think I should move into the attic. She thinks I should just put an air mattress in my kid's room and sleep in there. But that doesn't solve the personal space problem. I love my daughter more than anything in this world, but she hears and repeats everything I say, and I can't have quiet time with her there. So I need to either move into the attic, or slowly go insane as I stay in a bedroom with the man I'm divorcing. It's a no-brainer, but it is going to take effort, and right now, I don't feel like doing a G-D thing.

I'm too tired to move stuff up there right now, just like I was too tired this morning. I'm hoping that tomorrow, while he has her at dance class, I will be able to do it. Because I'm tired of this shit. Seriously. I need my own space.
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silverhawk79

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