Jan. 1st, 2017

silverhawk79: (Default)

All the feels, all the time.........


Catalyst
---------------
You arrived without fanfare one day,
Offered a helping hand,
Showed me your inner light,
And I was not afraid.

Truth was spoken,
Honest words, maybe, for the
First. Time. Ever.
Their imprint a smarting welt upon my spirit.

Gentle and brutal, both,
You are a dichotomy,
But no moreso
Than I am myself.

You are the catalyst,
The one who showed me
Not to think outside the box,
But destroy it entirely.

The Marla to my Jack,
You sowed the seed of change,
And now I can't imagine
My life without you.

And yet, you stand aloof
Waiting for some magical moment
Something to change,
Some sign to appear.

But I'm right here.
In stillness, waiting, right here.
 

Don't
----------

Fearing my own strength--
A weakness, a vulnerability--
Quaking at shadows.

Too many scars on my heart,
Chill air of solitude enfolds my spirit,
Wraps flesh and bone alike in its icy grip,
'til thawing,
The catalyst a fleeting, covetous hope.

You awakened my heart,
Healed my wounds,
Kissed away my scars 'til they were decorous ornaments obscured by desire.
You restored my soul to the realm of the living, where true love dwells beneath the surface of longing.

Don't break my heart.

 

Rambling On
------------------------
And I find myself filled with regret
A love despoiled,
A shadow on my spirit.

I would let you go,
Pick a budding rose from a shrub in the sun,
And not look back at the darkness again.
You deserve the light, the truest joy
Of your heart's desire.

Know that you will always have a home
Here, in my heart,
Where I keep your secrets forevermore.

And if you should look back to a shadowed soul
And gather her to your heart,
A kindred spirit to light the fire of love,
Then maybe we would both find peace.
 

Free
---------
What can I do to make you see?
You direct your love to all but me,
People who can't see the beauty beneath
Or who lie to you or treat you like yesterday's meat.

What can I do to make you believe
That you deserve to be happy, deserve to be free?
You are worthy of all love is cracked up to be,
But you're pining away for someone you don't need.

In the space between, you cannot steer
The love that you hold so very dear
To a place where you want it to be
Together at last, and both of you free.

Your hurts wound my heart, you see.
My heart aches to believe
That someday, you might find what you truly need.
Someday, you may find yourself freed.

I cannot tell you; I do not dare.
I can't explain that I love you or heal your despair.
So instead, we have conversations about insane things,
Inane things, whatever may come that this dawn brings.

I know you read between the lines.
I know you would tell me if you would rather I was silent.
But none of it makes the feelings subside.
I'll be damned if I'll sit idly by.

I can't watch you destroy yourself,
Watch you drown your soul and erode your mental health
All for someone who does not care
All for love that may not truly be there.

So I sit next to you and I dream
That one day, you will have what you need.
That one day soon, you will find yourself freed
From the chains and the pains that cause you to bleed.

One day, you will find yourself free.

 

Reflection
-------------------
Mirror you, in the manner of my speech
In posture and poise, every aspect.
My breath goes short,
My skin flushes.

Feel the burning in my soul--
A hunger for you.
Is this feeling true, or
Is this just a reflection of you?

I feel the pulse, the heat of you
Through the barest touch
My heart pounds, my mouth goes dry--
My very being hums.

I feel your fire in me,
A longing for you.
Is this feeling true, or
Is this just a reflection of you?

You turn away, without a word.
Mirrored eyes shatter
Like shards of ice.
The fire goes cold.

Was this feeling ever true?
Was it just a reflection of me in you?
 

Just For A Moment
----------------------------------
Just for a moment,
I glimpsed the you beneath.
The mask cracked, and I saw.
I was afraid for you.

In that moment, you let me in
And I saw the broken heart,
Not from loss of love,
But from some other trauma you hide.

I want to gather you in my arms,
Kiss you, and tell you that you are loved,
But how can I do that
Without telling you I know?
 

Burn
----------
Excoriate, debride,
Set a fire in my flesh
Burn away at me until there is nothing left
But the ashes of what I was.

Resurrect from within
Spread wings of fire and light
Rise, climb, soar above smoke and salt
And no longer feel this emptiness inside.

New made, will I carry the scars
They gave me in a time of silence?
Will I still recall the terror and
Cherished innocence lost?

Rise up and spread wings
Of fire and light, truth and love,
And climb above the pain
Soar above the fear.

Primal terror, heedless rage
Burn it away.

Pity and pain, remorse and sorrow
Burn it away,

Until naught is left but
Truth and love
Fire and light
Freedom and peace.

Rise, climb, soar above
The past.

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silverhawk79

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